Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Van Halen "1984"

Joel Menter ( @bflojoel )

I was twelve years old when this record came out. I loved the videos in MTV and got my uncle to buy me this on cassette. Two distinct memories accompany this cd. First: i was in 6th grade and we had a project in music class to create a "slideshow" music video. We had to do a series of drawings and swap them on an overhead projector during the playback. My friends and i chose "panama". I remember when we sat down to transcribe the lyrics we realised we had no fucking idea what Diamond Dave was saying or what the song meant. To this day i still don't. We drew a bunch of dudes playing guitars and didnt get a very good grade. Second: during a game of touch football on our street i scored a touchdown and did a wobbly kneed end zone dance. A junior high kid who was playing became frustrated and shoved me. When he turned his back i knocked him down and booked for my house. I remember thinking that when i got through my chain link gate i was safe but the kid hopped the fence and tackled me in my front yard. We wrestled for a few panicky seconds and somehow i ended up on top of his back with him face down on the lawn. A few inches from his head was a fresh pile of steamy beagle shit. I immediately shoved his face into it a few times. As i was doing this my mom started yelling out the kitchen window at us to stop. I rolled off of him and he was howling about the shit that was caked in his eye sockets and nostrils. I'll never forget that sight of a feces racooned dude. A few days later poop goggles prowled up the street on his bmx. I was standing with a few friends so he just glared a stare down as he rode past. Somehow while he was fixated on me his shoe got caught in his wheel and he flipped his bike and landed on his face. There is no way that kid has forgotten any of this. If i ever turn up murdered look for this guy

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