Friday, September 2, 2016

Elliott Smith "either/or"

It was around Christmas time in 1997 I saw the movie "good will hunting" alone at the Elmwood regal theater.  I had a friend who worked there and would let me into the shows for free, and looking back on it now im pretty sure she had a crush on me but i was too self absorbed and self-loathing to notice it.  I was full blown emo depressed and I loved the movie. A character with limitless possibilities was a stark contrast to the feelings of absolutely uselessness I harbored.  The thing that struck me as I made the long snowy walk back to my apartment on west utica was the soundtrack.  I stayed through the credits to find out who was whispering these haunting songs peppered throughout the movie.  In the lobby I scribbled the name into my sketchbook: "elliott smith".   I don't remember where or how I got the money to buy this CD but I did and it started playing in tandem with Sunny Day Real Estate.  At this time I was living with two close friends.  One of those snowy days one of them walked past my room and I was laying on my back on my bed with my cheap bass guitar across me. I was plucking the open "E" string and letting it vibrate my stomach. He left the apartment and did whatever for however long it was.  When he returned I was still in the same position doing the same thing, he admonished me and I pitifully gathered myself and went for a snowy walk with this cd on my walkman.  Probably wasn't a recipe for snapping my funk, but it's a vivid memory for me.  I walked to a coffee shop and sketched strangers while #elliottsmith sympathetically whispered words of discomfort.

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